If Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder....

The Millers November 2012

... then fonder has begun.  Words penned by my husband on his way to Afghanistan.

I really debated on blogging or even taking pictures of our farewell this morning because they can be kind of a private thing.   The more I thought about it, I thought the world needs to be reminded that there is still a war.  There are still Soldiers deploying.  There are still families waving good-bye until the buses are out of sight.

This is our third go around with deployments.  It's been different each time.  The first time, Steven signed in and was told he had 15 days and he was leaving for Iraq.  We had a 5 month old baby at the time.  Communications were very limited.  A few emails.  Rarely a phone call, but never a good connection when we did receive one.

The second deployment Steven commanded and it was a complete whirl wind.  We had more notice than 15 days and our baby was now 3.  Communications were better.  More frequent emails and the phone system seemed to have less of a delay. 

Our third deployment has been interesting.  We stood on a field not far from the where we stood 6 years ago.  This time our baby is 9 and we've added a Dude, 4.  Emails will probably be multiple times a day.  There may even be Skype!  But there is still that strange emotion between sadness and missing, but this is now old hat because it's away of life. 

I watched newly weds say tearful good-byes, other kids hold on to their mom or dad for one last hug (we had about 4 one last hugs), parents from far away coming to see their sons or daughters off.  So many of these Soldiers are now on the third, forth or even fifth combat tour.

The war has now been put in the back of people's mind because it's gone on so long.  It was barely mentioned in the presidential debates.  The homecomings aren't quite what they used to be.   My husband is a writer and during this deployment he is going to do his best to remind America of the men and women who are deployed.    And as a blogger, I'm going to share my story, as well as my fellow Army families. 

 

It's not the easiest life, but I wouldn't have chosen any other

.

We love you!!

Lucky Me

Welcome to the Army Mrs. Miller.

… with those words spoken and sword across my bum, I was welcomed into this crazy military world.

13 years (13 ½ for those who know the whole story) have gone by so quickly and here we are getting ready to go back to the place where it all started for us.

In 13 years we have:

Moved six times

Had two children (me, not him)

Two Iraq deployments and an upcoming deployment (him, not me)

One trip firefighting in Idaho (him, again)

NTC (all him)

Bought 6 Ford vehicles (I think.  The number gets fuzzy around 2007) 


I would say countless adventures, but honestly, our everday life is an adventure.

The list could go on and on of what we’ve done over the last 13 years.

I could not imagine doing any of this with anyone but my very best friend.   Through the good and the not so great, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Once again, the Army has foiled our plans to spend an anniversary on a beach somewhere, but some day we will get there. 

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend.  "Our" song.

Thirteen years ago with my best friend.

Thirteen years later and I still like him a whole lot!

The One Where He Turns 39

I’m not sure how he’s thirty-nine because I’m only twenty-five and he’s just six years older than me.  The math just doesn’t add up.  Never the less, his birth certificate says he was born in 1973.

Steven has done quite a lot in his thirty-nine years.  He would never brag on himself so allow me to do so.

He has received two Masters Degrees

He has commanded two batteries

Served twice in Iraq

Married a fabulous woman

Fought fires in Idaho

Continues to be an amazing dad to his kids

Has had articles published

Taught future Officers how to read and write at the United States Military Academy at West Point

Met many dignitaries

Jumped out of airplanes and off bridges (both willingly)

Ran a full marathon, half marathon, and 5k  (also, all willingly)

He’s also done our taxes for many years. Once, during the birth of our oldest child.

He's a man of many unspoken talents.

 He’s done much more, but those are just some of the highlights.  I’m pretty lucky that I’ve spent thirteen plus of these thirty-nine years with him.  This year we will not get to celebrate with him on his birthday, but are looking forward to doing so when he’s home.

So,

MAJ Nelson,

I hope you have a wonderful 39^th birthday.  I’m looking forward to celebrating thirty-nine more with you.  I promise to make you some Dr. Pepper bread when you're home.  
I didn't just want to sing happy birthday to you so take a listen to the lyrics of the song “A Song For You.”  I think some of the lyrics describe you/us and your thirty nine years.

I love you,

Jeannie

The birthday boy (far right)

One of my favorite pictures of  The Dude and his Daddy

After Steven's first full marathon

Where's The Good In Goodbye? Part II

Bear with me a moment while I tell you a heart wrenching story.  It may leave you a bit farklempted.  Don’t worry, it has a happy outcome. 

Following your military husband all over can be a lonely life.  By that I mean, you leave friends and are put somewhere new to make new friends every two or three years.  Not to mention your husband is gone quite a bit or works many long hours.  I knew this was the life I was getting into when they pronounced us LT and Mrs. Miller. 

One night, shortly after we moved to New York, I was laying in bed and it hit me (this is where you may want to grab a hanky):  I have no friends here!  I had an honest to goodness panic attack thinking about this fact.  We were not living on post where friends are instantly made.  We were living in the country, not a neighborhood.  Our church was an hour away.  Steven was already settling into his job and had “friends”.  Madelynn had started school and was with her friends every day.  I had no one but my sweet little 18 month old.

A few days later I went into our library and I saw a brochure for the local MOPS (Mothers Of Preschoolers) group.  They were about to start the program for the new school year.  I decided to go.



This is where it gets happy!  The Tuesday of the first MOPS meeting came and I walked into Grace Community Church not knowing a soul.  I dropped Wesley off at his class and I checked in and found my table.   There I met Amy.  She was my group leader and we started talking like we had been friends forever.  She had been in the Air Force, stationed at Scott Air Force Base which is down the road from my parents.  Small world!  Three years later, she is one of my dearest  friends.  I call her my first New York friend.  I love when we can have coffee sans children.  I love that our kids go to preschool together and I see her every other day.  I love the goofy texts that I get from her.  

Me and my first New York friend, Amy and her sweet "K".

I could go on and on about the ladies that I met at MOPS.  When I prayed/fussed to God about not having any friends here, He gave me, in abundance, the friendship with these women that have become so dear to me.  I will miss seeing them every other Tuesday, but I’m so thankful for Facebook so it doesn’t feel like they are so far away. 

I’ve already found a MOPS group at Fort Hood and I’m excited about joining and sharing with them the things that we have done here. 

So to all the Grace MOPS ladies, thank you for taking me into your Grace family and loving me and my family as if we were your own.  We will miss you all, but look forward to the updates of what God is doing in your church and MOPS group.

Just a few of  the sweetest women you will ever meet.

If I can only  have a little bit of Grace's sweet spirit and running ability I would be happy.

I will miss Lindsay so much.  Not only is she my dear friend, but my neighbor and emergency contact person for my kids.  She throws the best Cryfest for moms on the first day of school.



I'm so glad Christina was introduced to me at a Halloween party.



Kelly and I bonded while "fighting" over a pair of Old Navy mittens and hat during a dirty Santa game.



Angela is one of the sweetest people you will ever meet.  I am so thankful for all that she and Wendy do to put MOPS together.  They are fantastic leaders and I'm going to miss their quiet, gentle spirits.

Wesley and Ms Ivy, one of the many Moppet workers who loved Wesely over the last three years.

Where's The Good in Goodbye? Part 1

These next few weeks begin the hardest part of the military life.  It’s not the packing or the moving or the not having a house to live when we get to our destination.  No, those things are just inconveniences.  The hardest thing is the goodbyes. 

While living this military adventure, we develop close friendships.  And wouldn’t you know it, those people find a place in our hearts and become not only become our friends, but apart of our family. 

Our military family

This past Friday began the first of the goodbyes.  We had a little get together with some of our military family.  I can’t even begin to say how wonderful these people are.  They are more than just friends, they truly are our family.  Fortunately, we do not have to say goodbye to the Wilsons.  We are taking them with us to Texas.  Rebecca, Deb and Melissa (who is in Afghanistan) have been like aunts to the kids and they have become some of the dearest friends.  I’m truly going to miss getting together on a whim on Friday nights.  We are already making plans for their Texas visit

Wesley and "Aunt" Rebecca

I don't even know. 

My girls.  I'm going to miss them a ton.  Well, except Yvette.  I'm bringing her with me.

Our latest goodbye was this evening - Madelynn had her last piano lesson with her fantastic teacher, Ms. Chi.  Over the last three years, Ms. Chi has watched Madelynn grow and change and not just musically. Similarly, we have watched Ms. Chi’s life change. With a new house, a new husband, and a baby due in July the transformation in both Madelynn and Ms. Chi has been something to behold.

Ms. Chi-McCain and Madelynn

As Madelynn walked out of this last lesson, she tried (unsuccessfully) to hold back tears knowing she had to say goodbye. 

As hard as goodbyes are for adults living this military life, they are even more difficult for the military child.

Most have heard the cliché “Grow where you are planted.”  This can be good advice for many, but for a military child it can be painful.  These little seeds do grow where they are planted, which is wherever the Army sends their family.  They grow roots and begin to bloom in what may be wonderful soil. They are then dug up (without their entire root structure like piano teachers) and replanted in another piece of land to try and grow again. 

These military seedlings are a hardy group.  They are able to be replanted and grow again.  While it can be tough, they turn into beautiful and strong flowers, able to adapt to most of what life gives them.

This is just the beginning of our goodbye blogs, it’s not meant to be sad, but to let everyone know how much they mean to us and that our goodbyes are more of a, “See ya later.